I am Olivia's and Erin's bitch

Soooo....

2006-01-24T23:03:10Z

I havent updated in a while sooo i just wanted to let everyone know something reallllllly important.

Hello.

That is all.

I feel like updating....

2005-11-22T03:02:31Z

Soooo i felt like updating. Nothing much to update on. Things are still kinda the same but i am a lot happier now. I still drink myself stupid a lot but when i am around Royce and Katie things are a lot different and i am happy. So thats pretty much the only time i get drunk now.

Wednesday is my friends thanksgiving dinner. Hopefully all yall can make it. It is gonna be at Norms probably around 10pm or so. I like doing this cause i love all my friends. I am very fortunate to have good people like that in my life. Anyways this week, Wednesday, 10pm. Hope you can make it

Other then that, there is nothing more to say.

Peace out

Kevin

I cant stop my heart from beating forever

2005-11-05T08:42:16Z

I am sad.
Yep thats pretty much it
I also think i am becoming an alcoholic
I am drunk or i get drunk everywhere i go now
Ever since Erica and i broke up i have been running myself down
Yeah i dont care, i am emo like that, dont like it? Piss off...

Anyways, yeah i have been drinking myself stupid
I just dont see a point to a lot of things right now
I am such an insecure person
I need someone else in my life that likes me for me, to make me happy
It is really sad but i cant help it
Maybe something is wrong with me...
I think the whole being a nice guy shit has to stop
Thats who i am naturally but it never works out and people take it for granted
Or i always become the good nice friend. Fuck that shit...i am tired of that...
I just cant be an asshole tho...i mean i can but i dont like it....
I am only gonna push people further away from me...

I miss Erica...i miss having someone there next to me as I wake up...i miss a lot of things right now...

PS. It was good to see you tonight Maysea, sorry i was drunk, but Sunday will be awesome

Kevin

Your it

2005-10-18T16:42:48Z

List ten things that make you happy and tag 5 others
1. Friends
2. Music
3. Kissing
4. Holding hands
5. Knowing that someone out there cares
6. Food
7. Talking
8. Family
9. Having a girlfriend
10. Feeling safe

I tag: Erika, Ashley, Amber, Tallie, Maysea

Eternity is not long enough

2005-10-12T22:56:57Z

Wow...it has been almost a month since i updated....well lets see

I am in a relationship
Her name is Erica
She is cool
Nuff said

Work still hasnt ended and next week i enter crunch time which means 9am to 10:30pm
There goes a lot of my time if not all
At least traffic wont be bad at night
I dont know how Erica will take it...i havent told her yet

Friends...i havent seen them for a really long time.
I see Royce when i can and then Rachel last night but thats it...
Kinda sad but thats life
I miss all of you and soon things will be better to where i can hang out with my homies soon enough.

And thats it!
Thats all i have been doing
Work, Erica, and sleep
Blah! I am starting to get worn out
I really want a break to spend time with Erica and all my friends

So thats my update.
Kinda sad eh?

I hope all is well with everyone who reads this.
I <3<3 you all

Kevin

I will have Paris in flames...

2005-09-16T17:04:46Z

So how is everyone doing?

Myself...unknown.
Kinda weird eh?
I am just drifting and having fun
I got my lip pierced finally
This shit is crazy and so far everyone likes it
At least i hope they do from what they have been saying
I am looking for another job
My contract will be ending soon so i must be prepared
Maybe something in the movie industry
I have seen a lot of job offers for that
Who knows?
I love my friends. No questions about it.
I havent seen them for a while but i do love them.
We are like a dysfunctional but functional family if that makes any sense hahaha

This weekend i am doing nothing so far. Anyone down to spend some time with me?

I hope all is well with you all. Erika, i am sorry to hear about Joe...that makes me really really sad. Tallie, you better come back in december, lucky fuckin skeleton gets to go to hawaii! :-P Amber, you are Amber! hahaha. Ashley, you are a goober. Fun fish pool R.I.P. Olivia, you stink and no i am not dead, i will never die unless i catch one of your stink fumes! :-P Maysea, hi! you are MIA again, that makes me sad :(

Everyone else, you are awesome in someway but i dont know why i just went off in a random shout out. That was weird. Weird things have been happening. Maybe i am growing up again? I dont think so...maybe this lip ring has dropped some metal poisoning into my brain and making me smarter or something! hahaha i am a dumbass sometimes.

I < 3 all of you and drop some love on my myspace and here on LJ, i always return the favor. www.myspace.com/dirrty

< 3

Kevin

Weekend...

2005-09-05T07:32:30Z

So this weekend i partied pretty hard..

I went to my uncles surprised b-day party. It was a lot of fun and he really enjoyed it. Once that was over i went to Anaheim and went to Karla's going away party. That was really really really fun! Erika and Amber and Justin and Jack were there and we were all having a blast. I am gonna miss Karla a lot tho.

Today i went to D-land with Ashley. We had a lot of fun and went on new rides i have never been before. I also updated my pass. It was $329!!!! Oh well, once i go like 4 or 5 times it will all be made up for. It was fun till the end when we were all tired and kinda grumpy. I got called a fuckin asshole by some 16 old chick and her friends. They were screaming in line and trying to get everyone to look at them. So i started making fun of them and everyone started laughing cause they were all annoyed at their high school asses. Now i know i dated a 16 year old but she wasnt all high key like these girls. I mean they were looking for attention (which is somewhat a lot like bree) but i dont know, they were just annoying me.

So that was pretty much it. Tomorrow i might go in for my lip piercing...i am kinda scared. I hate needles. Anyways i hope i wil like it, i have been sporting around the fake one for a while and a lot of people said they have liked it..so we will see.

Anyways g'night all who read my emo blogs(i really do appreciate it) and i hope your weekend was awesome!

<3

Kevin

The Suffering

2005-09-01T21:19:49Z

"The Suffering"

Is there a word that you'd like to say
Even in this old fashioned way
Go make your move girl, I'm not coming home

Would things have changed if I could've stayed
Would you have loved me either way
Dressed in blues day to day with my collar up

Decision sits, so make it quick
A breath inhaled from an air so sick
I curse the day that I heard of the web you spun

If it was up to me
I would have figured you out
Way before the year clocked out
Oh I hope you're waiting
Oh I hope you're waiting

[Chorus]
Listen well, will you marry me?
(Not now boy)
And are you wearing the suffering?
(You've been)
The most gracious of hosts
You may be invited, girl, but you're not coming in

Listen well, will you marry me?
(Not now boy)
And are you wearing the suffering?
(You've been)
The most gracious of hosts
I may be invited, girl, but I'm not coming in
[/Chorus]

If it was up to me
I would have never walked out
So until the sun burns out
Oh, I hope you're waiting

Would we have lived as a child would care?
With this vile to drink I dare
(Oh where have you been)
Only to cry all alone with
(Oh where have you been)
Your taste on tongue
(Oh where have you been, if it hurts to be forgiving, bye)
Should we try this again with hope
(Bye Bye)
Or is it lost, give up the ghost
And should I die all alone as I knew I would
(Then burn in hell, young sinner)
(Hey! Hey!)
(HA HA!)

If it was up to me
I would have figured you out
Way before the year clocked out
Oh, I hope you're waiting
Oh, I hope you're waiting

[Chorus]

(Hey! Hey!)

If it were up to me
I would have figured you out
Way before the year clocked out

(Hey! Hey!)

If it was up to me
I would have never walked out
So until the sun burns out
Oh, I hope you're waiting

[Chorus]

And you're not coming in...

Once again..

2005-08-30T16:47:51Z

The Spill Canvas were awesome again last night. Both shows were really good. Talked to Nick and i might be able to get them a show at the Whiskey and at Sacred Grounds in San Pedro. They said they would be down to play anything right now. SO he gave me an email address and i will see what i can do for them. They are all chill guys.

Anyways life is confusing. It is all over the place sometimes. Right now i dont know if i am up or down. I kinda miss someone right now...not like a strong missing but their is something small there. I didnt think their would be but their is. Whatever tho...outta sight outta mind.

<3<3

Kevin

The Spill Canvas

2005-08-29T06:35:30Z

These guys are fucking amazing!!!!!

I saw their show tonight and i met a lot of new people and got contacts. Hopefully i can go tomorrow night as well but i dont have anyone to go with :(

Anyways i will update more later i just had to say The Spill Canvas are awesome.

<3<3

Kevin

AIM...

2005-08-27T00:28:31Z

I deleted a lot of people off my AIM so if you feel that i deleted you then send me a message and i will add you back on.

<3

Kevin

I am evil....

2005-08-25T19:48:47Z

Hear me roar!

That sucks i am being refered to as evil. All i did was tell the truth and actually cared. More then anyone else did at the time. Thats all she really had and no one else was going to do it instead they were going to use her. So she shut me out and ran away and now she is being used more then a public restroom. All i ever did was care and thats all i asked in return. To treat me as i treated her, with the most respect and loyalty. I had everything you needed and wanted yet you thought you saw something better. Now hopefully you realize you were blind and to listen to your heart and not your eyes. Nobody will ever treat you as well as i did. I know that for a fact and so do you.

You dont know what you had until you lost it...

Now some lyrics that mix well with what i am thinking...i dont expect anyone to understand them but eh! who knows...

Across the floor in the hand of where we drove the drill
a cautious ear to the mouth of your confession
think of all the things we put him through
in the face of his god would he tell the truth?

still recorded were the words that dribbled out his kiss
when eyes go blind in this man of what could once become
sever the limbs off his torso in sleep
and burn what remains so the world may now see
no longer...will we wait for your answers
back to the hell where you've come from
think of all the times you've once had
write them in a letter that says goodbye

you'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
you'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth
among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice
picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
no name to be called redeemer
We'll fix him restore him...with the love is no other
think of all the things you did before
write them in a letter that says reborn

you'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
you'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on
following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on
following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on

on the wrong way out
on the causeway to neverwhere
on the wrong way out
on the causeway to neverwhere
on the wrong way out
on the causeway to neverwhere

dear my friends in the time we've spent forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?
dear my friends in the time we've spent forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?

pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
forever you will, forever you will learn

Coffee and Cigs

2005-08-23T06:51:29Z

Today was another blah day. I think it was cause of the 12 hour shift at my work. I swear that place messes with me. I feel bad cause this isnt the real me. I am usually a lot more out going and energetic. Maybe tomorrow night will be different. I just need to get used to the new schedule again.

Anyways i am hella tired. I might work on a song before i go to sleep so if you see me online, say a little hello :)

< 3

Kevin

I need an adult!!!!

2005-08-21T19:49:44Z

Today is gonna be hella boring, i have to clean my room, clean my car, and a whole bunch of other shit before i could leave the house. So please someone call me and keep me company or talk to me on AIM, send me texts on the phone, just something!!!!!

Hopefully there is something going on tonight....

Kevin

Blarg...

2005-08-21T09:32:45Z

Tonight was ok. I spent most of my day trying to find something to do tonight. I feel bad cause i feel like i have been bugging Maysea to hang out. So sorry Maysea if i have been annoying you...

Anyways i woke up around 12 and then talked to people till about 3 then get bored and went to sleep till about 6 when Vanessa(old high school friend i havent talked to for a while) woke me up. She wanted to go to see Jack Anthony play an accoustic set at It's a Grind in Pedro. They are much better acoustic then full band. I still cant stand the singers voice but eh! Music is music. So i started texting people and only one person responded and then that was it. Kinda made me sad and lonely.

Then i went up and met with Royce and everyone else at Dingmens house. That was alright. I wasnt really feeling like partying and stuff. I dont know why but i have been blah the past 2 days. Whatever tho, tomorrow will pass and things will hopefully get better.

Goodnight and sweet dreams all...

< 3

Kevin

Voodoo is crazy shit....

2005-08-19T09:18:26Z

Tonight i went and saw Skeleton Key with Maysea and Ashley. It was really freaky. Anyways thank you sooooo much for inviting me girls. I really do appreciate it and i had an amazing time. Maysea is my new movie buddy! hehehe we are gonna go see that Exorcist movie together and we are gonne drag Ashley along. Dont forget to cover your ear's Ash! :-P

The Spill Canvas show is coming up soon. Their new album is amazing. I really do hope you can get tickets Maysea.

Anyways work in 5 hours sooooo g'night and sweet dreams....

I <3 Maysea and Ashley....

Kevin

Very true....

2005-08-18T23:44:03Z

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
- Leo Buscaglia

"Kindness is tenderness. Kindness is love, but perhaps greater than love...Kindness is good will. Kindness says, "I want you to be happy."
- Randolph Ray

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness."
- Seneca

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."
- George Washington Carver

"Kindness is a language which the dumb can speak, the deaf can understand."
- C.N. Bovee

Thanks Rachel!!

TAGGED!

2005-08-15T18:46:57Z

Tagged by Rachel

List ten things that make you happy, and then tag five friends.

1. Friends
2. Music
3. Listening to good music with my friends
4. Playing and making music
5. Being held by someone you care about
6. Feeling cared about
7. Caring for other people
8. Laughing
9. Making other people laugh
10. Having someone else in your life

tag: Erika, Amber, Ashley, Tallie, Maysea

Oh yeah....

2005-08-15T17:27:47Z

And a huge thanks to Rachel for taking me home last night and watching me eat dinner! You rock! But next time you will have to drink my lemonade and coke mix. :-P Also where do you find a dog with no legs?

< 3

Kevin

A blur....

2005-08-15T16:43:00Z

THis weekend was crazy!!! It is like such a blur.

Well pretty much i got bailed on twice so eh! Shit happens ya know?

Alright so this Saturday was sooo awesome. I got trashed at the Whiskey and Sommer had to drive my car cause i took her to the show. Now on the way back to the car i tried to hop over a parking meter and ate mad shit and my arm is all fucked up. It was hella fun tho! I didnt feel anything till the next morning. After we got back to the car, we went out to go get food and i was trying to hit Jimmie with a spoon so i hit the top of it and it flung all the way into another booth and almost nailed this mexican guy. Hahahaha he was sooo pissed. All i could do was laugh and he probably got even more annoyed cause everyone around me was laughing as well. Good times!

Then we went back to the DeVice house and i passed out on Jimmies bed. I wake up to a girl sitting next to me, like super close next to me and she was like I am sooo drunk right now. I was like thats cool, now get away from me. And she was like why? and she started to get closer and closer and natural instinct kicked in and i was like "I think i am about to get raped"(if thats possible for a guy) so i shot up and ran outside to the patio and was like i gotta go. So i drove home and passed out. That shit was intense. hahaha crazyness eh?

Sunday i woke up and was like well i am going to get my lip pierced today and my mom shat a fucking brick. I was like woah! So she was like if you get a lip piercing i am kicking you out of the house and she was like if you come back i will make your life miserable. So i laughed cause she is like 4'11. She is almost legally a midget. She also said she would be embarrassed of me and couldnt stand to look at me when she talked to me...so the smartass that i am told her to wear a blindfold. That got her even more pissed. I said fuck it and was all ready to leave, i had some of my shit packed to last me a week. Then we started again and i talked my way into getting one and calmed her down but then by that point all the piercing places were closed sooo now i have to wait till next sunday to get it pierced or this thursday, it depends on how much of a hang over i have.

This Wednesday is Katie's 21st b-day and we are gonna get a limo!!!!! OHHHHH IT IS GONNA BE CRAZYNESS! I am soo hoping she has an awesome time on her b-day. She is a really cool and sweet person so she deserves to have fun.

So thats pretty much it. I hope everyone elses weekend was cool.

< 3 you all

Kevin

What to think...

2005-08-12T07:28:08Z

I was supposed to go to dinner with Brit but she wasnt hungry so she went to the bar instead and drank.

I talked to Maysea and was able to help her with some stuff. I really do wish things can get better for you Maysea. You are a sweet and beautiful girl. Just remember that careers have cooties! hehehe

Anyways...instead i went to Norms with Sommer and Meg. Sommer is gorgeous as always cause she is always laughing and has the prettiest smile. Meg is a sweet girl as well, always laughing and happy it seems like. I had a lot of fun with them. I cant wait till we hang out on Saturday night at the Whiskey.

Tomorrow night is gonna be awesome as well! I get to hang out with Maysea and go visit Olivia at her work!!!!! :-D Awesome people. Sometimes you have to see the bad to appreciate the good.

Time to sleep and hopefully today will be as amazing as last night was.

I <3 you all

Kevin

Funny...

2005-08-11T23:09:48Z

People who think that it is never there fault and everyone else is the dick or bitch. I find it funny people who cant accept responsibility for there own actions. Instead they get mad and blame it on someone else. Those kinds of people are pathetic.

Anyways,

Tomorrow. Norms. Maysea and Olivia. Awesome!

Tonight. Dinner. Brit is back. Awesome!

Right now. Not angry and hurt anymore. AWESOME!

There are way too many great people i have around me as my friends to notice the bad one or the one who i thought cared. Everyone who reads this and really cares for me...I heart you.... i really do.

Even if you are a poop stain like Olivia!!! Hahahahaha i got you good BOOGER! Olivia knows I <3 her.

Kevin

Maybe this one might....

2005-08-10T08:54:49Z

Edit: Thank god for people like Amber and Katie...i was gonna do something really stupid and just wash away my problems....you are fucking amazing people....

Bree all i did was try to talk to you and you turned into what i was becoming and shut me out and became a hypocrite yourself. You asked what those lyrics were about so i told you with a warning that you might not wanna know but you asked anyways and got butt hurt about it. So fuck you for all i care. You never did care and you never will. I am tired of all your lies. What happened between Nathan and you, you deserved every bit of pain you felt. It was karma bitting you in the ass. I hope you enjoyed what i felt. You dont deserve anything in life and no matter how many times you go to the gym, dye your hair, or put in any piercings, you still will always be ugly on the inside till you redeem yourself in my eyes.

You know all i did was care and be a nice guy and you abused it so now deal with me being an asshole to you. Maybe then you will appreciate all i did for you and how i treated you. Maybe then you will honestly care. Maybe then you will wake up and realize life isnt about trying to find the next internet fuck you can find or who you can hook up with next. Maybe then you will look into my eyes and say i am sorry and truly mean it.

Dont comment on this, dont send me an AIM. The only time i wanna talk to you is when you are gonna come to a realization that you fucked up big time and you fucked with my emotions and will say I am sorry for it.

Maybe that time will never come but at least i am a good person and realize my mistakes. Yes it was a mistake in posting those lyrics but it was how i felt. Thats what i was listening to at the time and it really hit me hard so i posted them. I cant help my feelings and never asked you to read my journal anyways.

I hope you are happy with what you have created.....

Kevin

Not every story has a happy ending

2005-08-10T08:14:45Z

This is my last and final post in LJ....

Goodbye....

<3</3

Beautiful...absolutly beautiful

2005-08-10T07:27:27Z

Paranoia is hunting you and all these dirty looks
They are right on cue
You're full up to the brim with that 'he said she said' trash
You exist behind your keyboard
Then you're gone in a flash

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

I am utterly disgusted with the path you trek
As inebriated as you can get off your latest pay check
I am at a loss for words here
I hate to break this to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

We were born and raised the same way
So what gives you the right to say
(At least I'm not a liar)
We were born and raised the same way
So what gives you the right to say
At least I'm not a liar
At least I'm not a cheat
At least I don't care what these god damn mindless people think of me

10 bucks says you don't have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

(We were born and raised the same way...)
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin

(We were born and raised the same way...)
You will live alone with your chemicals and gin